I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
