I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
