I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
