so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
