Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
