people are starting to question the shark bite story
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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