I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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