Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
