i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
