This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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