when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize