You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
