and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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