its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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