is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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