Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The air was thick with penises
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
