All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she smelled like a LAN party
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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