your room smells of hookers.
And success
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
