I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
