My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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