I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
