i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
