so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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