If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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