Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
