another moral hangover. fuck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
