he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
