I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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