Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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