Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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