afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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