I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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