The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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