I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
