i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
