why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
