Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
40s are totally the cure
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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