You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Also, beer. Big fan.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
