is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
