You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
