THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
