He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
