dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
