Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
