Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
