Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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