Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
