One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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