Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you had me at cake vodka
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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