Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
